I'd Rather You Didn't
by rogoblue
Summary: What did “I’d rather you didn’t” mean exactly?


Story: I'd Rather You Didn't

Rating: R

Author: Rogoblue

Summary: What did "I'd rather you didn't" mean exactly?

Spoilers: Season 1 a tiny bit and 2 a little bit through episode 11.

Pairing: Laurence Dominic/Adelle DeWitt

Disclaimers: The toys are Joss Whedon's. The idea is mine.

**Six Months After Taking Caroline Farrell Into Custody In Arizona**

A draft of cool air roused Laurence Dominic from a light doze. When he opened his eyes, Adelle DeWitt smiled down at him. The lights in the hotel room were dim, but something in her eyes made him wary. Perfectly manicured fingernails trailing along his bare chest banished that feeling for a better one.

Still smiling, Adelle said, "How are you feeling, Laurence?"

Smirk appearing instantly, he widened his eyes. "Did I fall asleep?"

Adelle laughed. "Only for a little while."

"What time is it?" Dominic asked, feeling too lazy to roll over and look at the digital clock on the small table on his side of the bed.

"It's late. We need to go."

"That's not what we need," Dominic said, pulling Adelle down beside him, rolling on top of her. Smiling at her impossibly arched eyebrow, Laurence leaned in to kiss her, slow, sensual, filled with promise of good things to come.

"I knew it was a mistake to let you nap," Adelle murmured, as Dominic abandoned her lips in favor of her throat. She gasped and her hips bucked involuntarily when his talented hands found her breasts.

.

"You had to," he whispered, smiling, secure in the knowledge of the many interesting and guaranteed effective things that might be done to Adelle DeWitt's extremely sensitive nipples. "You're the one who exhausted me."

Pushing against his chest with what struck Dominic as very little conviction, Adelle said, "We also need to talk."

"No," he said, shaking his head, unrelenting in his caresses. "We don't need to talk either. We need to put you back where you were a little while ago. Smiling with your whole body. A little breathless." He looked away and lowered his voice to the merest of whispers. "Happy, I hope."

"We need … oh my … to go … Laurence."

She spoke his name like a caress, inspiring Dominic to greater effort vis a vis her breasts. "The meeting ran long, Adelle," he whispered directly into her ear. "It was excruciatingly boring. Then they brought lukewarm pizza in for dinner and we had no choice but to eat it with only diet soda or that bottled iced tea stuff to wash it down. Poor, poor pitiful us."

"You are an extra … extraordinarily facile liar."

Taunting and tempting her with feather light strokes, enjoying the restless movements of her body beneath his, Dominic said, "That really wasn't the compliment I was looking for, Adelle. I guess I'm going to have to try harder."

Adelle arched off of the bed when he replaced his fingers with his mouth on her left nipple. Dominic took his time, employing lips, tongue and teeth. He'd just decided to switch breasts when Adelle entangled her fingers in his short blonde hair and pulled hard. He'd barely managed, "Ow," before she used her grip on his hair to tug him up for a kiss.

"No more teasing," she moaned against his mouth.

"Yes, ma'am," he said, smiling at her glare transforming into an expression he'd die to get on film when he thrust into her. They stared into each other's eyes, making love slowly yet urgently, thoughtfully yet passionately, contentedly yet desperately, giving and taking. Want transformed into need. They climbed the peak together and tumbled down to lay side by side, heads on the same pillow.

"That was exquisite, Laurence," Adelle whispered.

"You're exquisite," he countered, running a hand from her shoulder down her arm to her hand, clasping it in his, lifting it to his lips.

"Now we need to talk," Adelle said, tugging her hand from his. Dominic sighed but offered no complaint. "We can't go on like this. Sneaking about and such. We can't."

Dominic hugged her hard and laughed. "If we tell people, we'll cause a core meltdown in Topher's brain. He'll never recover."

"I know." Adelle returned the hug. "But that isn't what I meant."

Kissing her on the forehead, Dominic asked, "What do you mean?"

"This has to stop." Adelle reached for his hand again. "Full stop."

"What?" he asked. "We've been in bed all day today and together for months and out of the blue I get this from you. Why?"

"Because it's necessary." She mimicked his earlier action by lifting their clasped hands to her lips and kissing his.

"Why, Adelle?" Heart pounding, Dominic took a deep breath, then another. "Things seemed fine up until just now. Or did I miss all the subtle hints that you were getting ready to end it?"

Eyes eminently sad, Adelle asserted, "Things have changed."

"What things?"

Shaking her head, Adelle's green eyes asked his blue ones for understanding. "I misspoke, Laurence. Things haven't changed. It's simply that I've realized something about the way things are."

"What … realization?"

Adelle's kiss held everything they shared. Dominic failed in his effort not to respond. She whispered, "I love you, Laurence."

His mouth couldn't decide whether to smile or frown. Confused, he turned away from her and buried his head in a different pillow for a long moment. "You're not making sense, Adelle," Dominic said. "If … if that wasn't the strangest bit of placating bullshit ever, this isn't the time to be ending a relationship."

Gently rubbing his back, Adelle said, "Things are getting tense at Rossum. Every time we're together, I'm painting the target on your chest with greater and greater clarity."

"I can handle myself, Adelle. You don't need to worry about me."

"If Rossum decides to eliminate you, they will succeed. You know that as well as I."

Laurence knew his smile was predatory and was glad Adelle couldn't see it. "It wouldn't be a simple as you seem to think."

"I don't believe it would be simple at all." She sighed and kissed his shoulder. "It would be inevitable, however. You must face facts, Laurence. As I reluctantly have."

Her acceptance of the brisk, efficient carrying out of his death sentence tugged at Dominic's stubborn streak. "I'm not afraid of Rossum, Adelle."

"Laudable, but courage won't change the outcome." Voice lowering, she added, "If any of my enemies have a say in the matter, your death won't be clean."

"I don't care what they do to me. I won't betray you or embarrass you or whatever you're afraid of."

"But I do, Laurence. I care deeply. I won't see you hurt or worse because of me."

"No, you'd rather do that yourself."

"Please don't use anger as your crutch," Adelle said, fingers finding rapidly forming knots in the muscles of his upper back. "This truly is necessary. I talked with Clive Ambrose last week and he made it clear that he knew I was, in his words, toying with the affections of my Chief of Security."

Turning back toward her, scowling in self defense, he asked, "Is that what you're doing, Adelle? Toying with me?"

"You know better." Framing his face with her hands, Adelle whispered, "If we appear to end this now, he and others will believe the lie they've told themselves, thereby washing the target away completely."

"And what then?" he demanded, pulling her closer more roughly than he'd intended. "Can you really turn off your emotions, because you believe it's necessary? Click your heels together a couple of times and enter a universe where everything we have is gone."

"No, I can't. Nor would I choose to if I could." Meeting his blazing eyes without a molecule of fear or weakness, she said, "I will take solace in the fact that the situation at Rossum will right itself in time, allowing us to resume."

"Cold comfort," Dominic muttered.

Adelle closed her eyes briefly. "I will also seek a more physical form of comfort, if necessary, and suggest you do the same."

Dominic laughed, a harsh caustic sound. "That's just perfect." Adelle did nothing but recommence a gentle massage of his shoulders and watch Laurence struggle to find words. "This has to have been the longest goodbye fuck in history."

"There is no need to be crude."

"I'm not. I'm … what the hell did they call that offensive? Oh yeah, that's where I am right now. Shocked and awed."

"Laurence—."

"We've been in this hideously expensive hotel room for over ten hours, Adelle. Making love, I thought. How stupid does—?"

"Stop!" Adelle commanded, shaking Dominic by his shoulders. "I will not allow you to make what we have or what we have done this day into something ugly. I said, 'I love you,' and I meant it. I would never say such a thing otherwise. Even I, as Machiavellian as you view me, have lines I will not cross. It is because I love you that I insist upon this course of action. If you can set aside your male ego for a moment or two, you might be able to see that I'm right."

"So it's goodbye and feel free to sleep with whoever to relieve the pressure of working in extremely close proximity to the only woman I want?"

Adelle nodded slowly.

Dominic looked away. "How do you sleep at night, Adelle?"

"Badly."

"I don't know if I can do this," Dominic murmured. "The only thing that's been getting me through the days has been being with you like this every so often."

"You can because you must." Adelle slid her arms around his neck. "Believe me, Laurence, I know how you feel."

Enjoying the press of her body against his far far too much, he said, "No you don't."

"You love me."

Wary eyes sought hers. "I never said that, Adelle."

Her smile sent a sharp stab of pain ricocheting through him. "What have you been saying, if not that?" she asked.

"I meant in so many words."

"You're charming when you mumble," Adelle noted, chuckling at what looked to be a slight blush on a man she'd thought incapable of such a thing. "Why would saying the words matter, Laurence?"

"Whenever I have, something bad has happened."

Voice low, vibrant with emotion, Adelle said, "And if I mentioned I'd really enjoy hearing them?"

Knowing green eyes and expectant expression stormed through his defenses. "I … ah … I love you, Adelle."

She whispered, "Thank you, Laurence," and kissed him for the final time.

* * *

**Now**

"I'd rather you didn't," Adelle Dewitt murmured before removing Dominic's hand from her arm.

_She'd rather I didn't die? Of course not! Dying would end the pain. You can't torture someone who can't feel anything anymore. It's not enough that she mortally wounded what we had when she ended it and then pulled the plug on life support when she sent me to The Attic. No. With that parting shot, she planted the seed of something I can't afford and I most definitely don't want. Not after everything that's happened. Why, Adelle? Why did you have to give me a glimmer of hope? I was resigned to dying. I was fucking ready. Why did you do it? Why?_

The mental scream of his final question faded. Seated behind his desk in his office within the National Security Agency, Laurence Dominic lowered his head into his hands.

The instructions Clyde had left him in the scrawl that barely passed for printing flashed into Dominic's mind.

You must keep moving, Laurence. Brain to brain to brain. That's the only way to outmaneuver the virus Rossum's introduced to find people like you and me. Roamers, they call us. Don't return to your head for very long or too often. They target repeats. That's how they locked onto me. They've arrived to kill my body once the virus reaches me in here. I hope I've managed to lead it far away from you, because I don't think they know about you. Certainly not all of your capabilities. Keep it that way and take out the bloody mainframe, Laurence. Don't let them use my discovery to end the world. Please.

_I'm sorry, Clyde, but I'm tired and I want … to die._

"I'd rather you didn't."

Dominic raised his head, scan of his office conducted before he'd completed the motion. _Empty. Alone. C'mon, Dom, what did you expect? Not auditory hallucinations, that's for damn sure._

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Where in the hell is that coming from?" he muttered, rising, straightening his tie out of habit, drawing his sidearm.

"I'd rather you didn't." Roughly thirty seconds. "I'd rather you didn't." Half a minute more. "I'd rather you didn't."

"Stop!" Laurence snarled. "Adelle, just stop."

The litany continued, increasing in volume but not in speed. Her annunciation remained absurdly precise.

Covering his ears with his hands, Dominic tried to think, to ignore her words and the stupid nugget of hope within him those words addressed. Frustrated, annoyed and angry, he stalked to the door, ripped it open and walked down a dark alley, spoiling for a fight.

_Ok, Adelle. You win. I'm out of my head and moving. Brain to brain to freaking brain. Maybe there are a few more scenes to play out. But know this. I'm playing to win._

THE END


End file.
